Ever wonder why you’re suddenly thinking about someone even if it’s just fleeting thoughts?
The answer is, for the most part, unrelated to that person themselves.
Many of us have been thinking about someone out of the blue and unknowingly in relationships when deep down we don’t know where the feelings come from.
We are often unaware of our own thoughts and emotions without even realizing it.
This is why we need to be aware of these thoughts so that we can do something about them or at least identify what’s troubling us in order to get it under control.
So, here are 10 reasons you’re thinking about someone all of a sudden.
1) You miss them
It’s a simple fact of life.
You miss them because people are a part of you, a part of your life.
It’s natural to miss people you love and care about, whether they be family, friends or a significant other.
This person might not even be a part of your life anymore, but you still think about them because you miss them.
People are like mirrors in our life and when they are around we reflect back on ourselves which makes us happier and less stressed.
Even if you’ve only known them for a little while, they have impacted and affected your life in more ways than you probably realise.
If you are no longer able to see that person as often as before, then that’s when the longing will start to set in.
If it was an intense experience that you shared with that person, then the longing might be even stronger.
Unfortunately, this is why we feel pain when they’re not there.
When we miss people too much, it’s an indication that we’re feeling unfulfilled about something in our life and need to address it as soon as possible.
But, just because you’re missing someone doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it or even see that person again.
The best thing you can do is to find peace with the idea that they are no longer in your life.
Realize that if they were meant to stay, they would have.
When we are not at peace with the fact that people come into our lives for a reason and a purpose, then this is when we start to feel stuck and unhappy.
If you can learn to let go of things in life, then it will be easier for you to move on and find happiness again.
2) You miss your old self
Meaning you miss how you felt when you were around them.
Think about it!
Didn’t you feel happy and content when that person was around you?
Yes, of course, you did.
It’s because they showered you with their love, support, and enjoyment.
When someone treats us this way, we start to feel happier, more self-confident, and less stressed all at the same time.
They become a light in our life that helps us feel better by boosting our mood and sense of well-being.
This could be something that you gave up in order to pursue something else or someone that you lost because of a choice you made.
This is why many of us feel the need to go back in time and travel back to a time and place when we didn’t have any worries, stress or anxiety.
This is all about change and wanting to go back to our old self and the things we used to do.
3) There are elements around you that unintentionally remind you of that person
Many of us will suddenly feel like we have lost a loved one when we’re reminded of them at a time or place where they used to make us feel better.
It could be flowers, food or the beach because you used to often go there with that person.
It could even be a smell or a song.
It could be anything that is reminding you of how it used to be which could feel like the end of something or the loss of someone.
This is why oftentimes people feel sad or cry when they hear a song that reminds them of their loved ones.
These songs and memories bring up a well of emotions inside us when we aren’t ready for them.
Many times it’s not even our own choices that get us thinking about a particular person–it’s the circumstances and situations around us.
For example, if you have a crush on someone and they happen to wear the same type of cologne, then whenever you smell this cologne all of a sudden your memory will travel back to them.
It could be something that happened a long time ago or it could be something that happened the day before.
It’s just the way our mind works.
It only takes one trigger and all of a sudden we are flooded with memories that take us back to the past.
However, it could also be a negative trigger.
I’ll explain more in my next point.
4) They’ve hurt you in the past
Have you ever felt sad or anxious then suddenly remembered a bad memory associated with that emotion?
That was a trigger and you were flooded with a memory that took you to a place of hurt, pain and regret.
The trigger that reminded you of that person again.
It’s very common.
We don’t like to remember when we’ve been hurt by someone close to us, especially if they betrayed or abandoned us.
However, sometimes we can’t control these thoughts and they come out of nowhere when we’re least expecting them.
Even though you might have forgotten the bad memory because you were only focused on the positive ones and how they made you feel.
Our brain reacts very powerfully in times of distress or pain so don’t be too surprised when you suddenly remember something that has happened in the past.
5) You’re just bored
Sometimes, when we’re bored, we tend to travel back down memory lane looking for something familiar and comfortable.
We start to think about the things that have happened in our life, especially the ones that have made us feel happier than ever.
And it might include this person that you’ve suddenly thought about.
Think about it.
When you’re bored, wouldn’t it be nice to have them around so you can have a good time again and feel fulfilled?
But, we still like to think about all the good times that we had together because they made us feel like life was certainly worth living.
So when you become bored, your mind will help you remember these people or experiences that made you forget where you were and what was going on in your life at that time.
This is why we tend to get this feeling of nostalgia when we are bored.
We find comfort in reminiscing about the good things that happened in our past and wish that they would happen again.
6) You’re curious about their life
In many cases, the reason we randomly think of someone is because we want to know what their life is like now.
Even if it was a short-lived experience, you still want to know more about that person.
It can be as simple as a name or the things they said or did to make you feel so different than before.
We want to find out how they are doing and what they’re up to.
This is why we tend to develop a sudden interest in their life after a while even though we don’t remember them at all.
We tend to think about what ifs and start thinking about the good things that happened in our life, but not the bad ones because we don’t want to ruin our memories with the bad ones.
Sometimes, these feelings come from a place of sadness because we miss them so much.
However, there is also the other side to this—the part that’s only out of curiosity–which makes us feel a sense of wonder and excitement.
It’s all about how you want to feel or what your thoughts, emotions, wants and needs are.
We had a connection with this person once.
This person still means something to us so it’s natural that our thoughts go back to them sometimes.
It’s also why many of us want to contact that person again and just want to hear their voice and see them one last time.
This, of course, is a normal response and part of the human condition.
7) You need their advice for the future or the present of something you’re about to do or was going to decide on doing
Oftentimes, when we feel lost or don’t know what to do in a situation, we often look for someone that might be able to guide us in the right direction.
This could be anything from a career choice, relationship, travel, business idea, or even child-rearing.
Maybe you need their input or advice.
We often have this feeling of uncertainty about the future.
It’s because we don’t know what’s going to happen or if our decisions are the right ones or if we’re simply making too many sacrifices for what we consider to be important in life.
This is why sometimes our mind will ask us, “What would they do in this situation?”
And it’s because they seem more sure of themselves and how others perceive them to be, which makes them seem more confident and knowledgeable than us.
So based on that assumption, we ask ourselves how they would handle a certain situation in life.
It could be that you just remembered something good about them or the fact that you feel like you can trust them to guide you through your life.
This is why even though we might not remember many things about this individual, we still seem to have a feeling of familiarity and comfort thinking about what they would say or do.
Even though we are aware that this person is not here anymore, our mind still treats them as if they are there with us.
8) You feel like you want to get back in a relationship with them
As I stated earlier, many of us love to reminisce about the good times we had with this person.
Not only because you miss them so much and want to see them again, but also because you feel that your life would be better off with them in it.
You might think fondly of the times spent together and the good experiences you had with them.
We feel so good remembering these things that it makes us want to get back into the relationship with them again.
Or at least, we wish we could have more of their attention and affection.
It’s very difficult to separate what is real from what we remember because this all seems extremely real to our mind, which makes us believe it was real all along.
This is why we can feel something so strongly just because it’s based on memories that haven’t even happened yet.
We wish that there could be a “do-over” in our relationship with them.
It’s about the fact that we want to make up for lost time and feel like we have an opportunity to make something new happen.
9) You’re feeling lonely
Feeling lonely can happen for many reasons.
Maybe it’s because you’re in a remote area and all the fun things you want to do are several hours away.
Or maybe you’re somewhere that is just not welcoming and friendly, like at an airport or train station where other people seem to be rushing off to various places while you feel stuck there.
You might have even experienced this with a loved one who left without saying goodbye or not feeling appreciated for all that you do.
These feelings of loneliness can make us think about the people we used to spend time with and have fun with.
We might even notice that we miss the feeling of being intimate with another person and being close to them.
There might have been a time when we felt close but now it’s difficult for us to feel connected to others.
This is why we tend to become very nostalgic about our relationships or the times spent with someone else, especially people from our past.
We want to remember the good times we had with this person and how they made us feel like we belonged somewhere and were part of something special.
Because this person was so special to us, we think of them more often because we feel disconnected from other people.
10) You still hold grudges against them
Let’s face it.
It’s often easier said than done to forgive others for wronging us.
This doesn’t mean we are heartless or don’t feel remorse.
It just means that human beings tend to believe in justice and reciprocity.
One of the reasons we might think of someone from our past is because we still harbour feelings of anger and resentment against them.
Whether it’s about something that happened in childhood or something that happened more recently, this person might still be on our minds because we haven’t been able to let go.
Maybe the way they treated us was just not okay.
We are angry at them and hurt that they let us down or made us feel bad about ourselves. This is why we can’t let go of our resentment and anger.
We might have even lost contact with that person because we didn’t want to be around them anymore.
So now they seem like a distant memory and we don’t think of them often.
But sometimes, our mind comes back to these lingering feelings and it makes us remember how angry or hurt we still feel about this person.
There is this constant need to feel vindicated and validated when it comes to these moments.
We want to remember exactly how they made us feel so we can use this as fuel to forge ahead in life.
Whether it’s a loved one or an acquaintance, when we suddenly think of them, it makes us feel something.
Sometimes it can be a mixture of sadness, happiness, and anger all at once.
Because our heart and mind are connected, the positive emotions will outweigh the negative ones and we will feel mostly good about this person.
The funny thing is, no matter how much time passes from the last time we talked to someone or saw them, when our mind thinks about them, it feels very current.
We always feel as if they were a part of our life just yesterday and that they could come back at any time.
This makes us feel as if they were just here with us and that it was only yesterday that we had a conversation with them.
But at the same time, we can also feel as if this person has been gone for such a long time.
This can make us think back to times where we felt close or connected to this person.