Why can’t I shake the feeling he’s cheating”: 9 signs your gut is right
Cheating. It’s one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship and it’ll break your sense of stability and trust for a long time.
Are you getting that gut feeling that your man is cheating? That nagging sense that something’s not right?
If you’ve been dismissing it as paranoia, you aren’t the first and won’t be the last. And as someone who tends to overthink, I totally understand telling yourself it’s just anxiety.
But sometimes that gut feeling is right, especially if you can’t shake it no matter how hard you try. In this article, I’ll lay out 9 signs your gut is right when you feel he’s cheating, so you can make an informed decision.
Let’s get right into it:
1) He has no time for you
This is one of the big signs that he’s cheating. You may tell yourself that everyone gets busy, especially if you know he has a demanding job. But your partner should still be able to make time for you.
Keep an eye out for sudden projects popping up that become his priority instead of you. He may increase his work hours and spend all his time at the office.
He may also suddenly have new hobbies or friends to hang out with—and you’re not invited. You no longer spend quality time together; not even to watch a movie, have dinner, or just hang out and talk.
And he’s not just physically distant; you’ve noticed he’s withdrawing emotionally as well.
2) He’s emotionally distant
You used to feel that you were totally in tune with your partner. You could talk about anything, including your feelings.
But he’s become distant and detached from both your relationship and your personal emotions. He doesn’t pay attention to you, not only in terms of spending time together, but also when it comes to your work, hobbies, and interests.
He also doesn’t share anything about his own life—highlights or lowlights. And he might even get mean, especially when you ask what’s wrong, because he’s feeling guilty about cheating on you.
This is especially true if your partner is usually kind and calm. Sudden changes are a big sign of a cheating partner, including physical ones.
3) He cares more about his appearance
Your partner’s usually a couch potato or spends all his time in sweats, but suddenly he’s going to the gym five days a week and dressing like a rockstar.
Sometimes people just decide to make a change, especially if it’s for the better. If he’s had a health scare, for example, then it makes sense he’d want to exercise more.
But if this sudden need to look better comes out of nowhere? It could mean he’s trying to attract someone else.
He might also be showing off new moves in the bedroom, or he’s lost interest in intimacy with you completely.
4) He’s changed sexually
This is a bit of an awkward one, but sexual compatibility is important in most relationships. If he no longer wants to be with you, then it’s possible he’s found something else.
Or maybe he does still want to be intimate with you… but he’s showing off all-new moves. Now, maybe he’s just trying to improve, especially if you’ve mentioned that you’d like to shake things up a little.
But if you were just fine with your sex life before, then there’s a chance he learned those moves from someone else.
Especially combined with the above sign about improving his physical appearance.
The human libido is a tricky thing, though, and there could be other reasons behind your partner’s sudden change in bed. If he’s overly stressed or has a lot going on in his life, his libido may drop.
Unfortunately, if he doesn’t share any of this with you, it’s another sign that he’s cheating.
5) He’s secretive
You no longer know anything about his schedule, or who he’s spending time with. He may suddenly be spending cash on new things, but if you share a bank account, you can’t see where he’s getting the money from.
Or he could be withdrawing cash in unusual amounts or at an unusual frequency—after all, by paying in cash his purchases won’t show up on any sort of financial statement. It’s one way to keep you from seeing who he’s spending the money on.
Another thing he might be secretive about: his devices like his phone, his laptop, or his tablet. This applies both to not letting you see anything on his phone and to having a second device that you aren’t allowed to touch. He might even keep a second device hidden, so definitely be wary if you happen to stumble on it.
He’ll also send and receive texts at strange times, like late at night, and take any calls in another room—so you can’t hear what he’s talking about.
And if you confront him about this suspicious behavior, he might try to turn it around on you.
6) He accuses you of cheating
Yeah, this is usually the sign of a guilty mind, especially if he normally finds you trustworthy. He’s cheating, so he’s projecting it onto you, or he thinks because he can cheat, you must be able to as well.
He might bring up cheating in other, more subtle ways as well. If he’s asking you what you’d do if he cheated, or if you would ever cheat on him, he’s got cheating on his mind in some way.
And consider his friends. If he’s surrounded by cheaters, then his morals may be a little shaky and he doesn’t see cheating as a bad thing.
Accusing you of cheating is a good way to distract you as well. You’ll naturally feel defensive and if you’re already prone to anxiety, you’ll be too busy wondering if you’re the one in the wrong to keep questioning him.
Remember: you’re not in the wrong here. You have that gut feeling for a reason.
7) Your intuition tells you he’s cheating
Intuition is a powerful thing. One way to tell if it’s intuition or just anxiety is to analyze exactly how your gut is warning you.
If it feels really urgent and upsetting, it’s probably anxiety. On the other hand, if it’s a quiet feeling, a certain knowledge, then it’s more likely to be your intuition—and your intuition has noticed something that your conscious mind hasn’t.
As I mentioned, I tend to be anxious, especially around relationships. So when I felt anxious about my partner a few years ago, I decided to give Psychic Source a go.
There’s a ton of fraudulent psychics out there, but believe me when I say the gifted advisors at Psychic Source truly want to help and have your best interests at heart.
They were kind and patient with me, and they gave me great guidance and insight into my relationship. My partner wasn’t cheating… but he was leaning towards doing so. With Psychic Source, I was able to acknowledge what was anxiety and what was true intuition telling me something was wrong.
This was especially helpful because my partner was acting especially lovey and affectionate—another surprising sign that he’s cheating (or about to).
8) He brings you gifts
This doesn’t sound like a bad thing, right? As someone whose love language is gifts, I’m happiest when I can give things to people I care about. Finding that perfect gift and watching the recipient light up is one of my favourite things.
But if your partner is gifting things randomly, plus he has the above signs, it’s possible he’s gifting you out of guilt. If he’s never given you flowers before, or taken you out for a fancy meal, why has he suddenly started?
Now, it is entirely possible that he’s gifting you because he’s fallen or is falling in love. Or he’s trying to up the romance factor. Heck, maybe he’s just come into a windfall and he can now afford to treat you.
On its own, gifting–even sudden gifting–isn’t necessarily a sign that he’s cheating (and feeling guilty about it). Take it as a sign if it’s combined with any of the others in this article, though.
If you’re feeling suspicious, you might want to turn to your friends—or to his.
9) Your social group has noticed
If a friend comes to you and outright tells you that they saw your man cheating, it’s less an intuitive sign and more a blazing neon sign.
Don’t freak out just yet, though. Get more details from your friend: did they actively see your partner acting romantically with another person? Or did they just happen to see your partner hanging out with another woman?
If they saw your partner being romantic, you have your confirmation. But if your partner was just hanging out, ask him who the other woman was.
Don’t accuse or use inflammatory language; be as casual as you possibly can. Just watch for his reaction. If he’s evasive or immediately gets angry, there’s a good chance he’s cheating—or at least attracted to this woman.
You can also look to his friends. You may not be close enough to ask them outright, but if they suddenly start acting weird around you, they may know something you don’t. And your partner may use hanging out with his friends as cover for actually seeing the person he’s cheating on you with.
He’s cheating—now what?
You’ve read these signs and unfortunately, you’re now pretty sure that your partner is cheating on you. What do you do next?
First, take a little time for yourself, to acknowledge and come to peace with this knowledge. A cheating partner isn’t your fault and you did nothing to deserve it.
Second, make sure that any insecurities and fears aren’t making you jump to a false conclusion. Have you been cheated on in the past? Do you feel insecure about yourself, your partner, or your relationship, leaving any possible cheating out of it?
If you’re concerned that it truly is anxiety driving this gut feeling, work on your self-esteem first, or even seek therapy.
Third, decide if you’re going to confront him. This can be tricky, especially if you tend to be a shy person or find it difficult to express yourself.
If you do decide to talk to your partner, go into it calmly, with a focus on finding out the truth. Remember that your partner may lie if they’re the type to cheat.
Make sure you confront him in a place where you feel safe and comfortable, and don’t back down if the two of you start to argue. You deserve to know the truth.
If you’re still unsure, don’t forget you can always reach out to a gifted advisor via Psychic Source and get real advice.
Whatever happens, focus on yourself and ask a very important question: is this a relationship you really want to be in? Will it make you happy to continue with your partner?
If he cheats and you stay, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Just know that he may cheat again, even if he promises not to.
Think of your future–something a psychic advisor can also help you with–and decide if you see a good future with your current partner. Decide if you like the version of yourself that you are with your partner, and whether you think future you will still be the person you truly want to be.
There’s no right or wrong decision here; only the decision that works best for you.