Does your ex still haunt you like a ghost from the past?
Yup, that’s scary.
But why are they still in your mind?
If it’s been months or years after the breakup and you still struggle with thoughts of your ex, it could be a problem and prevent you from embracing a new phase in your life.
It is time to take control and shift your focus to healing and moving forward.
In this article, we will explore the spiritual reasons you keep thinking about your ex and what you should do if you want it to stop.
Let’s dive in!
1) You have unresolved feelings
It’s not your ex haunting you. It’s your unresolved feelings.
When you ignore dealing with your emotions, they resurface and remind you that they are still there.
Your unresolved feelings prevent you from moving on because you are taking the past with you by not allowing yourself to process your feelings.
That is why you think you are thinking of your ex.
The truth is, you are feeling the emotions you should have allowed yourself to feel when you broke up.
But it’s not too late. There is hope!
There are many ways to deal with the emotions that the breakup caused you.
You just have to try almost everything until you find what is best for you.
Some of these ways are:
- Acknowledging your feelings through writing them
- Talking to someone you trust about what you feel
- Talking to your ex about your feelings
- Reflecting on your experiences
- Practicing self-compassion
When you process your emotions, you open doors for yourself toward understanding yourself, your needs, and what you want in a relationship.
You are also allowing yourself to grow, learn, and have a positive perception of love and relationships in the future after a breakup.
2) You miss them
If you miss your ex, that could be the reason you can’t stop thinking of them.
It is common to miss your ex after a breakup, so you do not have to feel bad.
They once held a special place in your life, and you shared memorable experiences together.
These memories may take time to lose their impact on you, and from time to time, they may trigger thoughts of your ex.
You just have to be honest with yourself, whether it’s the kind of missing that you will get through or the longing that will prevent you from moving on and building something new with other people.
If it is the latter, you should look into how to stop missing them slowly.
3) They became a part of who you are
Our relationships can change us (hopefully for the better).
Healthy relationships are transformative, and most of the time, our partners are involved in this transformation.
Before meeting your ex, you had little appreciation for rap music.
But when you meet them, they introduce you to great rap artists, and you find musicians you end up loving.
Now, even after the breakup, you constantly listen to rap music, and it reminds you of how they influence your music choice.
Their influence could also be as simple as how you do chores around the house, why you prefer sitting across from someone while eating, why you like dogs more than cats, and so on.
So if you and your ex had a transformative relationship, it could be that your newly developed habits and qualities remind them of you.
4) Your souls are connected
Some connections are more special than others.
These special connections are sometimes connections that our human brain can’t comprehend.
You just don’t understand why you are so glued to them, and you feel that you can never have a connection like that with someone else.
It is natural to feel a strong spiritual bond with someone we have a soul connection.
Do you feel this with your ex?
If you do, it is most likely the reason you can’t stop thinking of them.
However, you should remember that relationships with soul connections are not always meant to last forever.
Some soulmates may be temporary and were only a part of your life to serve a purpose.
You should explore whether this soul connection is meant to last forever or only temporarily by consulting with a psychic.
They are experts in understanding these connections and will be a great help to you in interpreting your thoughts.
5) You idealize them and your relationship
Do you think your ex was the most ideal partner you could ever ask for?
Do you think you had the perfect relationship with them?
It could be the reason you keep thinking about them.
If you think that your ex has all the traits and qualities you are looking for, it is easy for you to label them as your “the one.”
Because you believe that, it is hard not to think of them because you feel you have lost your perfect match.
They are now your TOTGA – the one that got away.
How is this a problem?
If you keep idealizing your ex and your past relationship with them, it is natural for you to compare your ex with new people you meet.
This leads me to my next point…
6) You compare your current relationship to your ex
Idealizing your ex may lead you to compare your current partner with your ex. You may feel unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled that your current partner does not have your ex’s characteristics.
These feelings may prevent you from seeing the best in your partner, and the chances of you breaking up are high.
You would not want to stay in a relationship that you are not happy about.
Your partner would not stay in a relationship that makes them feel they are not enough.
But I’m not in a relationship. How is it going to be a problem?
If you are not in a relationship at the moment, the effects may still manifest in how you connect with others.
As you hold people to unrealistic and biased standards, it will prevent you from forming genuine connections and relationships with other people.
If you keep on comparing other people to your ex, you may fail to see what else is out there that could make you feel happy and content.
You know what they say, comparison is a thief of joy.
7) Everything reminds you of them
If you spent a long time being with your ex, it is common to have experiences, emotions, and things associated with them.
This could be a scent, a TV show you’re watching, an ice cream flavor, an occasion, a place, and so on.
It’s also possible that even your day-to-day routine reminds you of them.
Because if you spent a long time with them, you might have cultivated a lifestyle or a routine that involves them.
For example, before you go to work, you were used to going back to the bedroom to kiss them goodbye.
Since you have broken up, you don’t have to do that anymore.
This could be a noticeable shift in your daily life as it challenges you to break an old habit and form a new one.
Their reminders do not stop with association and routine.
You could be reminded by them if you need to fill the void they left in your space.
This is when you have to do their part in your routine as a couple, such as making breakfast, getting the plants watered, walking the dog, getting the dishes started, and more.
If this is the case for you, it is understandably hard not to think of them.
8) You need a new environment
As mentioned above, forming a lifestyle that involves your significant other is normal for couples, especially if you’ve been together for a long time.
If everything reminds you of them, changing your environment is one of the best ways to move on and stop thinking of them.
If you are in a position where you can move into a new apartment/house or a different city, you should explore that option.
Moving to a new place or changing your environment will give you a fresh start.
You can create new experiences and memories that do not involve them.
If moving is a grand step for you, rearranging and redecorating could work as well!
Get rid of the things in your place that reminds you of them.
Get rid of all their traces.
If their reminders do not involve physical space, here’s how you can create a fresh mental space:
- Develop a new routine
- Find a new hobby
- Make yourself busy with recreational activities
- Meet new friends
- Be open to new connections
Is thinking of your ex a problem?
Yes and no!
It is not a problem to think of your ex if you’ve just broken up.
Some months and a couple of years may be considered normal as you heal and learn to cope with the changes that happened after the breakup.
Thinking of your ex becomes a problem when you let them get in between your healing and potential to form a profound connection with other people.
A healthy outlook you may practice is this:
The only significance your past has in the present is the lesson it teaches you.
You should not let your past limit your potential to grow and move forward in life.
What should you do if you want to stop thinking about your ex?
Make yourself busy
Keeping yourself busy will help you reduce the amount of time thinking about your ex.
Eventually, you will get so occupied you won’t have time to think about them.
You may engage in physical activities like going for a run, going to the gym, signing up for a pottery class, or any activity that you will find enjoyable.
It is important that the activities you do to make yourself busy are recreational. These will help you get better at managing your thoughts.
Stay away from activities that provide a temporary fix and could lead to a damaging routine.
Avoid stalking them on social media
It is very tempting to stalk our ex partners on social media to know what they are up to.
Especially when we can not stop thinking of them.
Sometimes we ask ourselves these questions:
Do they think of me too?
Are they miserable without me?
Are they seeing someone new?
Since we do not have access to them after the breakup, lurking on their social media accounts is the best thing we could do to scratch our curiosity.
But – this won’t help you if you want to stop thinking of them and want to completely move on.
You may even set yourself up for disappointment when you see that they are doing well or seeing someone new.
Here’s the truth: You don’t need to know what they are up to for you to move on.
You need to move on from what happened in the past and not from what is happening in the present.
Remember, out of sight, out of mind.
Keep a journal or a diary
When I was in grade school, I kept a diary.
One thing it taught me is how helpful it is in regulating emotions and being truthful with how I feel.
The good news is, journals and diaries are not just for kids!
Adults like you and me can benefit greatly from writing down our thoughts truthfully.
Journals and diaries give us an instant avenue to express how we feel.
They also help us go through the intense phases of feeling our emotions.
So when we choose to talk to people who are involved, our words are far less damaging and we are more composed.
Identify the trigger of your thoughts
If you are tired of thinking of your ex, you should know what triggers your thoughts about them.
Once you have identified them, study how you can avoid or approach them better when you encounter the triggers.
Eventually, when you know what encourages your thoughts, you will get better at understanding what the thought is about.
Talk to a psychic
Psychics have the ability to tap into your energy and can help you get a unique perspective on your thoughts about your ex.
They can help you unfold why you are stuck thinking of your ex and offer guidance and advice on how you can move on.
If you think a psychic can help you, Psychic Source is a good place to start.
I know because I once struggled with this very issue and I couldn’t move on. The gifted advisor I talked to was so compassionate and gave me unique insights about my situation. With their help, I was finally able to put all those thoughts about my ex behind me.
Click here to get your own love reading.
Talk to your ex
This may be a crazy idea, but talking to your ex could benefit you greatly.
Talking to them may provide you closure and help you understand why things ended the way they did.
This is also an opportunity for both of you to re-evaluate the relationship and get a deeper understanding of what went wrong.
Although it can help you with rekindling, it does not have to be the intention of the conversation.
Instead, talking about it can help you mature as a person and avoid making the same mistakes in current and future relationships.
Come to terms with the fact that you will think of them
Your ex played an important and special role in your life.
Just because you broke up with them does not mean the time you shared together was a waste of time.
You had moments and experiences that contributed to who you are now in the present.
Even if the relationship ended badly, if you look at it in a good light, it could teach you something that could help you with your life in the present.
Whether that is realizing you deserve someone better or you need to be a better person for the people you are connecting with in the future.
Coming to terms with the possibility that they may come to mind can be hard.
You just want to forget about him, right?
But it is an important step in moving on.
If you are not yet convinced, here are the benefits of accepting that you won’t forget about him completely:
It will help you with moving on
When you accept the fact that it is possible for you to think of them, you will care less about the reason;
You will focus more on appreciating them as someone who was special.
You won’t stress about the reason you think of them and stop playing detective.
By accepting your thoughts and feelings, you can put your energy into the present and the future.
You will lose control in the best way possible
When you try to control your emotion, you tend to suppress them.
But if you accept that thinking of your ex is normal, you are releasing the pressure to control your thoughts and feel more free to process them.
Do it for personal growth
Coming to terms with the fact that you will think of them will allow you to be more open to what it is your thought could do for your personal growth.
Your thoughts can provide you with insights into your relationship patterns and what you need to work on in your current and future relationships.
You see, by accepting that you will think of your ex as someone you can learn from instead of someone who is holding you back, you can focus on your growth and understanding yourself and your needs.